and she was petting her beer can
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
