And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
