I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
