Banned from zoo.
Again?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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