im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
