I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
