Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
