After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
