The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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