I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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