There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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