Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
