i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
