The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
