so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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