I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
