She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
