i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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