Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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