Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Randomize
