Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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