why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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