break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
