you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
