Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
