In the future we'll all be gay
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
