the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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