We're like a lot better than the average bears
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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