Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Randomize
