i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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