Where is the hickey?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
