i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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