I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
