dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
