You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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