HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize