I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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