oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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