pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think people are normalizing furries
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
