that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
