I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
