I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
