I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
