Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
