uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
