I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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