Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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