Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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