just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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