awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
