I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
