he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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