No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
