I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
