U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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