What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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