Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do vagina's smell?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
