reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
