the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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