the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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