he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
