it wasn't lemon gatorade
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
