If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
