I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
