Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
