i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize