brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
