dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
