I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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