Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
