i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
