What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
