this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
