He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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