nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
