wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
