I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
