are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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