...so i touched it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
