Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
