I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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