Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
