so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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