he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
