i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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